4-13-09

The kid question as of 4-13-09:
Should I have them or not have them?

Pro:
They're someone to love and who will love me back.

Argument against it:
So are all the other children in the world who already exist. And, there are many people in the world who are not children who need love and/or care of some sort.

Brings the question...Why do people want to love children specifically? What is it about children that would be more fulfilling than spending one's life and efforts on adults?

Pro:
They're my genetic material.

Argument against it:
So are all the other children in the world who already exist. Unless I'm blind and they're actually all zebras. I thought that human meant that they're already very closely gentically related to me.

So far, it seems that the best argument for having one's own children is that they give a lot of joy to their parents. That's all fine and good. What gives joy to one person may not give joy to another. Then again, I'm pretty damn sure that if I had a child, I would find joy in him/her no matter what. I have a tendency to do what needs to be done. If I had a child who needed to be loved then, GDI, that's what I would do. And I wouldn't look back. But there's the rub. I don't have a child. I can choose whether or not I want to love them. They, of course, don't get to choose that.

But why love them instead of someone else? Why not love a child who is already here? Why do people tend to want children sprung from their own loins? I don't understand exactly why people care who's body it comes out of. It feels like everyone else is understanding something that I'm just missing.

If I had no child, that would be fine also...or maybe not. I don't know. I know that I'd certainly want to have a mom like me. LOL. But then again, I'm biased aren't I?

Would a child not born of me give me any less joy and/or love than a child born from another woman? That's a question I don't know the answer to. I don't even know how to obtain that answer. Better question: Would it be my own self that obstructs me from loving a child not born directly from me?

Would I regret not having a child born of me?
To say that I could not (or that the child) could not be loved as much by me (or me by them) because they were not born directly from my body is to admit something which I don't know if I like.

I don't think there's anything wrong with people's feelings. Some people have suggested to me that it's just "feelings". It's just the way people wants things. They just want their "own". What does that mean?!

Would I like for my child to look like me? Yes. Would I like to be able to carry a child? Ironically...yes. lol.

But...

Do I need the child to look lik me? I don't know. It seems rather silly that that would be the reason why I'd want to have a biological child. Do I need to be able to carry a biological child? LOL. Any woman who has given birth would probably give me an emphatic "Hell no!".

So then what is left over? Why would I need or want a biological child outside of those reasons? The only thing left over is what I'm guessing is in the language people use to refer to biological children. The say "my own". Somehow, biological children are claimed more by their parents. I don't understand this. Why would I be unable to claim an orphan? I know, of course, that I'd claim a biological child. There would be no trouble taking responsibility for him/her since...I brought him/her into existence. But, while they're in a realm of possibility, I could just as easily not claim them. Hence the reason my mind and heart are duking it out (viciously I might add).

So the fact that biologically born children are more closely related genetically to their biological parents is the reason why people want them? What is it about genetics then? Why are people hell-bent on that? What difference does it make if the child is closer or farther apart genetically?

As long as the child is human, wouldn't that be enough to claim them if they needed to be claimed?

Pro:
I would know all the health stuff relating to a child born of me. I would know him/her intimately before birth and would be able to be somewhat in control of the gestation period.

Argument against it:
Yep. So did the woman who carried a child I could adopt. I'm not in control of anything. Pretending that I am in control is ludicrous. My child could be born with deformities and with major health issues no matter how healthy and cautious I am. The fact that an orphan's parents are not in a position to care for them does not mean that the child cannot be cared for by other parents.

Con:
Orphans usually have lots of problems.

Argument against it:
That would be a reason to gravitate toward them. A need must be met. The fact that they have problems, does not mean that they should be the state's problem or that they should be without parents.